


swimming up against the tide

by Ravens_World



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Missing Scene From 2x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29886540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravens_World/pseuds/Ravens_World
Summary: He should have been honest with him from the beginning; should have explained why the mere idea of telling his parents about them terrified him, instead of spouting off those godawful words.Missing scene from 2x04
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 12
Kudos: 190





	swimming up against the tide

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a prompt I got on Tumblr; "can you please do a fic of the in between of the tarlos fight in 2x04. I need tlcarlos angst."
> 
> If any of you have any tarlos prompts, put them in a comment or send them over to me on tumblr @buckleymanes! I'd love to hear from you!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Happy Reading! 🖤

Carlos waited for him to come back, as naive as that was.

He waited an hour, and then another, but TK didn't come back. Carlos, for a while, felt weirdly detached from what had happened, like he'd watched the last three hours happen to someone else. 

How did it all go to hell in such a short amount of time? They'd been shopping for the dinner that they were going to make together- not that TK would have been much help- and they'd been happy, they'd been in a good place. 

And now, because he was a coward, all they had built was gone. 

He looked around, desperate to find a distraction. He'd tried looking for a movie, or a show, but he hadn't been able to concentrate, or sit still, to watch something properly. He'd paced in his living room for a few minutes, tried to do the dishes, thought about cooking, but he did none of those things. He couldn't; because he was restless, and angry and heartbroken. 

His hands gripped his car keys off the table, and he headed for the door. He hesitated before he opened it, and rested his head on the cool wood, eyes tightly shut. 

Driving had always calmed him down, and he knew this time would be no different, but a part of him didn't want to leave the house. It was the same part that was screaming that maybe, just maybe, TK might come back home to him, and that he needed to be there if he did. 

Carlos sniffled, and shook his head. TK wasn't going to come back, not after what had happened. 

It took him ten minutes to be able to leave the house, and another ten to start the car, but he did it. 

At first, he drove around aimlessly. 

He tried not to think about TK, but his thoughts did eventually turn to him. The thing was, Carlos couldn't exactly blame him for how he reacted. He should have been honest with him from the beginning; should have explained why the mere idea of telling his parents about them terrified him, instead of spouting off those godawful words.

"Didn't want to rub their noses in it," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. 

He should have known how TK would react to those words. He may not have told him everything about his relationship with Alex, but Carlos had read between the lines, and had known it had left TK with a lot of hurts, and shitload of insecurities. 

He wanted to go to him now, wanted to explain, but if he was honest with himself, Carlos didn't know if he would be welcome, and he wasn't sure he could handle a rejection on top of everything else that had happened today. 

Carlos took a breath, steeled himself, and drove. This time, he knew exactly where he was headed.   
.

It took him half an hour to get to his destination. Carlos parked, but didn't leave the car; just stared at his childhood home and asked himself:

_Am I ready to do this?_

His shaking hands, and the pounding of his heart, told him exactly what the answer to that was. He didn't want to tell them, and God knew he wasn't ready for it. There was a pretty good chance this would irrecoverably change his relationship with his parents, true, but by not telling them now, he was only delaying the inevitable, wasn't he? 

So, was protecting himself for just a little while worth losing TK?

He opened his car door, but closed it in the next second. He clutched the steering wheel with shaking hands, his grip so tight his knuckles turned white, and rested his head on the wheel. 

His shoulders slumped in defeat. He wasn't going to tell them. 

He took out his phone, and ignored the fact that his hands hadn't stopped shaking since he'd parked the car, and scrolled down his contact list until he found the one he desperately needed to talk to.

It only took three rings before she answered, and once she did, he felt his body relax a little bit. " _Carlos_?"

"Hey, Michelle," he tried to sound cheerful, or at least normal, but he failed miserably.

Her calm, soft words wased the storm a little bit. " _Carlos? What's wrong?_ "

He let out a breath. "I think TK and I broke up," it hurt like hell to say the words, and a tear escaped his closed eyes. 

" _You think?"_ She sounded confused, and he wanted to laugh, because he was confused, too. " _What happened?"_

"We were shopping for dinner, at the farmer's market and- we were so happy, Michelle- I-"

" _Carlos? Take a breath for me,"_ she waited a beat, and he listened to her and took a breath, then she continued. " _What happened?"_ She repeated the question, her tone softer, and a lot more soothing. 

"My parents were there. They saw us, and I introduced him as my friend."

" _Oh, Carlos,_ " the words were gentle, and there wasn't a hint of judgment. " _That must have been hard_."

He laughed. "Yeah, it was! He was so excited to meet them, Michelle. He was crushed. God, You should've seen his face when-"

" _For you, Carlos_ -" she interrupted him gently, though her tone was firm. "I _meant it must have hard for you."_

He was silent.

She scoffed. "You haven't even considered your own feelings, have you?"

"Michelle, that's not _\- it doesn't matter right now_!" He snapped. "I lost him because _I'm a coward_."

" _You're an idiot."_

A laugh burst out of him, without his permission, but all traces of the fleeting lightness disappeared when he said the next words. "Eleven years, and I still can't even imagine going up to them and saying the words again. But I need to, right? I should do it, and it might as well be now, right?" He was working himself up, and she could probably tell by his frantic tone.

She was silent for only a second. " _Carlos? Where are you?"_

He swallowed. "In my car."

She huffed. " _And where's your car?_ "

"Parked in front of my parents' house," he muttered.

" _Carlos, I need you to listen to me,"_ she started, and there was an urgency to her voice that hadn't been there before. _"If you're not ready to tell them, don't. You don't owe TK this_."

"But-"

" _No buts. This- you should do this for you. Only for you. Once you're good and ready, you go to them and tell them, but don't do it one minute before you're sure it's what you want."_

"And if I lose TK because of that?"

" _Then I guess we'll know he never deserved you._ "

"I hurt him," he whispered.

" _And he hurt you, too, didn't he_?"

He swallowed past the lump in his throat and said the words he hadn't even allowed himself to think. "He walked away. And he didn't come back."

" _Yet_ ," she interjected, and he could hear the smile in her voice. " _Give him time. Give yourself some time_." 

"You think he'll come back to me?"

" _If he's half as smart as I think he is, he will. If not, well, it's really his loss, isn't it?"_

He took a breath, then let it out slowly. "Thanks for this."

" _What are best friends for, huh?_ " She laughed a little. " _Go home, Carlos_."

"Okay."

He hung up, and before he could doubt it, he started the car. 

And that was when he noticed it; 

His hands had stopped shaking.  
.

" _Nothing ever stays the same, Carlos."_

Carlos looked down at their intertwined hands and felt his chest tighten. "That's what scares me," he whispered, not looking at him.

TK nudged his chin with one finger, and Carlos reluctantly met his eyes. "You have me. Always."

"And what happens when you get tired of this? What happens if you-"

"Hey, listen to me-"

"I went to their house today." TK's mouth clicked shut. "I was going to tell them. But I couldn't get out of my car, TK. This isn't going away, and you're going to get sick of it." 

TK framed his face with his hands and used the grip to bring him closer. Their foreheads touched, and Carlos closed his eyes. His breathing slowed, and he found himself relaxing as they simply breathed together for a minute. 

"I love you, you know." TK whispered the words into his hair, then pressed a kiss there. "And I will never get sick of you, as long as you promise the same."

"I promise," Carlos said, without hesitation.

"And I'm sorry, Carlos."

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I do, though."

Carlos pulled away, and watched as TK visibly struggled with what he wanted to say. "What I did- you almost did something you weren't ready for, because of me. You felt pressured, and- that's on me. I shouldn't have walked away. I should have known you weren't like-"

"Alex?" He asked tentatively and TK nodded, the movement jerky. 

"You're nothing like him," he continued, holding his hand. "And I'm sorry I doubted you."

"I'm sorry, too. For making you think that you didn't matter. You do, TK. You matter to me; so much." 

He let the words sink in, wiped away the tear that made its way down his cheek, then leaned in, and TK met him halfway. Their lips touched in a gentle kiss, and TK surprised him when, instead of deepening it, he pulled away. In the next second, Carlos found himself enveloped in what could only be described as a bear hug. He put his arms around TK's waist, and felt his boyfriend's arms tighten around him. He didn't know how long they sat like that; it could have been minutes, or even an hour, but Carlos didn't care. He was in TK's arms, and right now, that was all that mattered to him.

TK pulled away slowly, then he stood up, and extended a hand. "Come on."

He took the offered hand, and followed TK as he led them to the stairs. He stopped him at the foot of the stairs. "TK?" 

"Yeah?" 

Carlos crowded him up against the wall, his hands on his chest. "I love you," he whispered just before he kissed him. TK's hands setteled on his sides, and they fisted in his shirt. He used that grip to pull him closer, so that they were chest to chest, thighs to thighs, and there was barely any space left between them. 

"I love you, too," TK whispered the words in his ear. He took his hand and laced their fingers together. "Let me show you how much?" 

Carlos was only human.

There was no way he could say no to that. 


End file.
